 |
Success Stories
I surely do believe in dinner together...our boys thought they were being tortured to endure this as teens because their friends didn’t have to…but, as men now, they appreciate the ritual and realize what we were trying to foster. This connecting time was the only time of day we had all together and it was so important. Also...our Sunday ritual after church was going to the diner for breakfast…that place was magic I think because that is where we found out everything that was going on in their lives... somehow it seemed to loosen their tongues.
Also, a wise friend of mine with four children taught me to ask a question when the children arrived home after school: “What happened good today?” and after it was answered -- and it was always answered -- then to ask, “What happened bad today?” Here is where I would find out the issues fresh on their minds…no other way of asking “How was school today?” ever brought out such responses…standard answer was always: “fine.” So I know it works.
– Kathy
Open communication is the only way to go. And early. We spoke with our kids about drugs when they started school. It's never too early to start and it's impossible to be too honest.
--Ruby
This [eating dinner together] was the absolute rule in our house and we let very little interfere with it. We turned off the TV and it was "family time." It was not always easy but our daughters and son believe in it now. We had wonderful discussions about films and politics and sports. We solved the world's problems over supper. It meant a lot to us then and we still believe in it.
--Teri
We tried some of your place mat ideas and actually we were not very excited about it. Someone suggested it to us. It was hard at first -- it seemed artificial and maybe even phony. But after a while it got better. Maybe our children are a little young for them. We do think it is improving our discussion time at the dinner table so we are going to keep at it.
--Dale
I am a single mom with a daughter in middle school and a daughter in high school. My high school daughter seemed bored when we did the placemats but I think it is getting easier. The best part I think is what happens to me. I think I am learning to listen better. I think I am also learning how not to correct them or criticize them as often. Thank you for the idea. Sometimes we make up our own...
--Shirley
After 13 years of marriage, I found myself raising 6 kids by myself and had to work three jobs to support them. [Every week] I made it a point to have what we called “pile on night”. We all met at 6:00. We locked the doors, took the phone off the hook, put on our pajamas and I brought in Pizza, chicken, or whatever they chose for dinner. We would sometimes rent videos, but very seldom did we pay any attention to them. My children began sharing what they loved the most about each other, the funniest things that happened in the past week, what their fears were, and what problems they had and took advice from one another. We did this for several months and then I began to realize my kids didn’t want the movies any more. They just laid in each others laps, played with each other’s hair, scratched each other’s arms and talked and talked and talked. To this day, my kids yearn for the times when they were just kids and they could have “pile on.”
-- Gloria
I think something that helped at our house was role-playing their refusal skills. We told them it was perfectly fine to so say “No” without any further explanation, but also rehearsed some reasons they could give. We tried to always know their whereabouts and definite limits were set (curfews, etc.) And it was wrapped in love!
--Jeannie
|
|
|
|
|
“18 million children in America are being reared by single parents.”
|
|
|
