Tomorrow Looks Good...drug free : Dinner at Your Place

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Dinner at Your Place

(Reading time, 2 min, 30 sec.)

Here’s what we know:

The more often a family eats dinner together the less frequently the kids use drugs, alcohol, and tobacco. Do you find that strange? It isn’t, really. Let me explain.

By the way, here’s a sentence from one of the actual studies, this one reported by CASA, the great drug research group associated with Columbia University in New York City:

“Compared with teens who frequently had dinner with their families, (five nights or more per week), those who had dinner with their families only two nights per week or less were twice as likely to be involved in substance abuse.”

So, here's the issue: We all do better if we know we are loved unconditionally by someone. We all do better if we know we matter. We all do better if we know someone is there for us. And something as simple as setting up a schedule of family meals is a way of saying, “In this family we are so important to each other we do whatever it takes to make sure we show it. Meals together is one of those.”

We were toying with giving it a fancy name like “Meals With Meaning,” or “Super-supper,” or “Winner-dinner.” I mean, when we were searching we came up with some really loopy ideas. Like for instance, “R.A.T.” (Radical Attitude Tuning), “Extreme Steak-over,” or how’s this: “Peanut Butter Family Night,” (For families that stick together). Well, you can see why we quit brain-storming.

Maybe one of the better ideas linked the evening to our theme: “Tonight around the table makes Tomorrow Look Good...”

Just one more, I promise. One of our folks said, “We had a custom like that when I was growing up and it went like this: ‘Get in here…it’s time to eat!’”

OK, enough of that.

A huge factor in whether kids decide to use drugs revolves around how open and comfortable communication is within the family. How willing is my family to listen to me? Does my opinion matter? Do they really want to know about my joys and my disappointments? Incidentally, some recent research (July 23, 2008) from the University of Minnesota suggests that girls profit more than boys from this family ritual. But check the reports on our "Success Stories" page.

It helps meet deep needs in kids to know they are cared about and listened to. Today’s two-career-soccer practice-music lessons-orthodontist-lawn mowing-TV-text messaging-schedules mean we’re going to have to work at that. Hence, “Supper-at-six,” or whatever you choose to call it. (Actually, some families tell us that breakfast works about as well, but for many it's too hectic.)

OK, so it seems like a good idea, but what happens after we all sit down and pass the peas? Glad you asked. As you explore our website you’ll discover a Resource titled “Placemats.” That’s a non-fancy name for a little strategy we’ve developed that will give you down-loadable, printable sheets you can put next to every plate. They have quizzes, discussion-starters, riddles, questions, puzzles, short stories, and role-playing segments where you find yourself asking, “What would I have done in that situation?”

You’ll find placemats at some restaurants but they probably advertise a local amusement park or Al’s Car Wash. But we don’t think you’ve ever seen any like these. And, like everything we do, they’re free. Try one and see how you like it. Then let us know.

Happy dinners! And remember, dinner together tonight makes Tomorrow Look Good!

—Dr .Don

“Parents who reinforce the "No, never!" message about drugs and who are engaged in the lives of their children are the parents most likely to rear drug-free kids.”